YAMMA Chapter V: EduMMAcation

(Warmup)

So yeah, UFC 104 was last night. I know everyone is going to be writing a HUGE post on their thoughts of the main event controversy, but I'm never one to stick with trends, so I'm going a different way. That's not to say I won't say some things about the card in general, but I've said my piece on various sites, especially on my Twitter (Cheap Plug: www.twitter.com/Evan_C). In any case, The various visitors to this site surprised me by choosing Shogun to win, by a margin of 65%-35%. Most thought that Shogun would take care of Machida by KO/TKO, while in second was a tie between Machida by KO/TKO and Shogun by submission. That takes care of this poll, now onto the next UFC main event. UFC 105 will feature "The Natural" Randy Couture against Brandon "The Truth" Vera, in a light heavyweight fight. Vote in the poll for who you think will win, and in the issue of YAMMA after UFC 105 I'll post the results.





(The Bullhorn)


During the fury of the storm that surrounded last night's event, I realized an important fact: Most people are still new fans to the sport of MMA, and they don't know some of the most essential aspects of the sport. Sure, most everyone knows how you win, and what the refs do, and the like. But these MMA newcomers need to be educated about the finer points of the art of fighting. Thus I, being the Midwestern gentleman that I am, compiled a list of top (Not sure about the number right now, let's just see how it goes) things any MMA fan should know. For those of you who think you know everything already, skip to the next section, cause it's aimed squarely at you. Anyhoo, onto the list.

Evan's Top 8 Things Any MMA Fan Should Know


1. Condom Depot is a legitimate sponsor.
I know it's funny to see the words "Condom Depot" on a dude's backside, but there are quite a few fighters who are sponsored by the good suppliers of prophylactics (Fancy word for condoms there). So next time you're tempted to laugh loudly at a sports bar and say "lolz that dudez gots condums on his butt!!" Just remember that the rest of the people there will look at you like you're an idiot.

2. Groin shots are indeed illegal, as is poking into any orifice. ANY orifice.
Again, it seems like these should be logical, but you always hear that one idiot say "kick him in the nuts!" You can't kick someone in the groin, because it's against the rules, and if it's intentional the fighter will most likely be deducted a point. Also, you can't stick a finger into a mouth, ear, eyes, nose, or... other... orifices. So again, don't be that guy who thinks he's funny yelling "shove yer thumb up his..." Well, you get the picture.


3. There is never a three.


4. The ground game is a huge part of MMA.
I know that stand up wars are fun to watch. Heck, Bonnar vs. Griffin was a brawl that put the UFC on the mainstream map. But there is no reason to boo just because a fight goes to the ground. Some of my favorite fights have been two fighters displaying fantastic technical skills on the mat (Namely Cerrone vs. Henderson from WEC 43). If you would just give the fight a chance, it will either: A) be stood up, because the fighters aren't doing any work; or B) lead to a fight ending submission; or C) end up back on the feet due to some fantastic defensive wrestling.


5. Wrestling is not two dudes wanting to get "intimate"
This is another one of those, "don't be an idiot", rules. If two fighters are in the clinch, they aren't just "hugging". Any position on the ground is not "ha, they want to get freaky!". And I swear if I hear giggles one more time when the announcer says "he's mounted him!" I will scream. Actually, maybe not, cause that is kinda funny, I'll admit.


6. Fighters have to fight other fighters in their weight class.
While it may be fun to debate who would win, Anderson Silva or Brock Lesnar, the fight would never happen. While it is more of a rookie mistake, it still just draws attention to you as an MMA newcomer, as innocent as a guppy. And thar be sharks in them thar waters.

7. The weight classes, the big name fighters in each, and the champions.
Pretty much self explanatory. Here's a handy guide:
155 lb.- The lightweights, champion- B.J. Penn, notable fighters- Diego Sanchez, Clay Guida, Kenny Florian
170 lb.- The welterweights, champion- Georges St. Pierre, notable fighters- Anthony Johnson, Mike Swick, Martin Kampmann, Jon Fitch
185 lb.- The middleweights, champion- Anderson Silva, notable fighters- Vitor Belfort, Cung Le, Dan Henderson
205 lb.- The light heavyweights, champion- Lyoto Machida (barely), notable fighters- Rashad Evans, Randy Couture, "Shogun" Rua, Forrest Griffin, Gegard Mousasi, Tito Ortiz
265 lb.- The heavyweights, champion- Brock Lesnar, notable fighters- Frank Mir, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Cain Velasquez, Fedor Emelianenko, Josh Barnett

8. The referees/judges are not a part of the UFC organization.
After the fight last night, I heard several people comment, "Dana must have told the judges to score it for Machida". This is totally incorrect, and Dana actually had it for Shogun. But I digress. The judges and referees are actually appointed by the state athletic commissions (In the case of UFC 104, the event was held in California, thus the California State Athletic Commission, or CSAC, appointed the judges). Dana would never use Steve Mazzagatti if he could avoid it, but it's a state thing. Same reason for Big John McCarthy not refereeing. He's not licensed by Nevada, thus he can't referee in Nevada.



So, there we go. The top 8 things any MMA fan should know. Now onto the boys and girls who decided to skip the list, saying "I already know everything! Stupid nubs should already know this stuff!" You, the seasoned MMA fan, are part of the reason the MMA gets a bad reputation. Instead of making fun of the people who may not know as much, why don't you answer their questions patiently, much as a parent answers a child. If you just berate them for being ignorant of some minor detail, you can turn them off from the sport altogether. But, if you guide them, they can grow into an MMA fan we can all be proud of. And you get the satisfaction of watching them grow in the sport.



(Echoes)


So, here's the UFC 104 part. Not gonna be big, but it needs to be discussed nonetheless. My favorite bout of the night was the main event actually, because I love technical displays such as those shown last night. Anthony Johnson had a nice KO on Yoshiyuki Yoshida, but because he came in overweight, he was ineligible for the $60,000 bonus. So a lesson, boys and girls- always make weight, because you pay for it in some way.

The controversy over last nights decision has many people in an uproar, and had Dana White guaranteeing an instant rematch. For those of you not in the know, in the light heavyweight title fight of Machida vs. Shogun Rua (pronounced hoo-ah), many people watching the fight scored either 3 out of the 5 for Shogun, or 4 out of 5 for Shogun. The judges saw differently, and awarded Machida the victory. This lead to many people being angry on the interwebs, and now we get a rematch. I personally think that the rematch is the best option, since I myself had Shogun winning the card. Anyway, that's pretty much it. A decent card, don't know if I would recommend the $60 price tag for it, but still a good watch. Especially since I got to watch my boy Ryan Bader fight for free on SpikeTV just before the event.




(Soundbytes)

1. Dana White guarantees rematch for Rua and Machida
Not much more to say about this, I totally agree with it.

2. Dana White says Henderson wants to be highest paid guy in UFC
In my opinion, Hendo does NOT deserve that high of a salary. He doesn't even have a belt for cripe's sake. Henderson has denied the claims, but still there has to be some truth in it. I suggest that he sign a couple fight deal, try to get the middleweight belt when Silva retires, and then ask for the high priced contract.

3. There is never a three.

There's also no more news. Kinda a slow newsweek in the MMA world.





(Closing Thoughts)


I hope that today's YAMMA was educational for some of you out there. It was fun writing it, since I got to go into my inner "Hulk" and just think about what I get so angry about. I'm kinda written out tonight, so this closer is going to be a short one. Just a quick favor to ask, if you out there could click on the ads on the bottom of the posts one or two times, it would really help me out. They're spyware free, I swear, and it's all MMA related, so you could find some cool stuff on the sites. Anyway, as always, comments are appreciated, vote in the polls, follow my twitter at www.twitter.com/Evan_C, and as I always say,

Peace out, and rock on.
-Evan